Open communication is key. Make time and space for supportive conversations with individual team members and for the team.
1:1 Conversations –
Lean in with empathy rather than sympathy. Let your staff member know that you are here for them and will be supportive in the ways that feel supportive to them. For example, before offering any feedback, or assuming how they might be feeling, ask your employees, “How are you doing?” “What would be most helpful right now? I am happy to just listen, or I can explore resources with you.” Often, to be supportive, supervisors and coworkers may try to help by “fixing,” which can feel invalidating. Try and let go of this solution-oriented mindset and approach with empathy, compassion, and active listening.
Be mindful of toxic positivity. When approaching these conversations, be mindful of “toxic positivity.” Toxic positivity is a behavior in which one pushes a “positive mindset” to the point of erasing or dismissing the struggle at hand. Often, toxic positive statements start with “At least…” or end with a statement encouraging people to, “Be strong” or “Stay positive.” While toxic positivity statements may be shared to help, they often have the opposite effect and can signal that you are not fully present or listening.
Be self-aware. How do you convey and comprehend challenging emotions like shock, grief, and anger? Be mindful of your own emotions to prevent adding to the anxiety or stress. If you are experiencing stress and trauma directly, reach out to your supervisor and peers to support you and your team. You don’t have to do this alone.
Check in regularly. Keep a pulse of the general moods and behaviors of staff members and check-in often to provide space for dialogue and supportive 1:1 conversation.
Team Conversations –
Keep polarizing conversations to a minimum to not adversely impact those who may be directly impacted by the event. Work can be a way for some people to take their mind off stressful events and the news cycle. Staying focused on the work and supporting each other with kindness and empathy can be helpful in dealing with stress and anxiety. That said, it is impossible to avoid conversations and discussions amongst team members. If you sense that these conversations are happening, providing a space for folks to share how they are feeling in a safe space.
Establish psychological safety. Be aware that some external events can be polarizing. Share and/or co-create agreements before the start of meetings that set ground rules for respective and supportive conversations. These agreements also help provide certainty to teams that their views are welcome and the expectation of respect and kindness. If you have established agreements already, this might be a good time to remind folks of them. Here are sample agreements.
Check-in prompts. Use check-in prompts to provide an opportunity for team members to share their feelings. By modeling this practice, we communicate a caring environment where expressing emotion is both acceptable and welcome. It can help to grieve, process, and heal together as a team. Caution – Be mindful of the general mood of the group and individuals. Keep check-in prompts simple. See & download The Check-In Handout for tips and examples.
In addition, check out these resources for tips for having conversations across differences.
From TeD:
Cultivating Empathy and Connection
Leading Others through Conflict
Listening when it’s Difficult to Listen
External Resources:
Green. 2019. Five Ways to Have Better Conversations Across Differences. Greater Good Science Center.
Abdou. 2021. How to Navigate Politically Charged work Conversations Through Brain Science. Hive.
Forbes Expert Counsel. 2021. 15 Tips for Navigating Potentially Polarizing Discussions at Work. Forbes.